Subject: IPP> SEC - Some more editing comments on Security draft

From: Carl-Uno Manros <[email-masked]>
Date: Fri, 18 Jul 1997 17:27:03 PDT

Roger,

here are my additional comments as promissed:

Editorial comments on the Security draft from July 15
=====================================================

TOC   The lines for 5.9 and 5.10 are not aligned with the rest of the TOC.

Section 5.10 - I already gave you some advice on how to get rid of the
issue, by stating that a corresponding security level (but probably not
identical) should be used as for the submission of the job.

Section 6.0  - We need to add more references here for: TLS, PGP/MIME,
S/MIME, SHHTP, IPSec.  I would drop PEM and MOSS from this text, we do not
seem to have any interest in them at all and they now seem to be only of
historic value.  Under IPSec, 4th line from the end, you have "use user".
Cross out "use".

6.2  Firewall Considerations - add blank line after the heading.

Change "posts" to "POSTs"

7.0  References - there are a number of unexplained underscores - delete. 
Fix  "elkins" to "Elkins" in RFC2015 reference.  Some reference names are
capitalized and others are small letters, eg. we have "RFC" and sometimes
"rfc" in reference names.  Make consistent throughout the document. Use
same style as the Model document (whichever that is).

Find and add references for standards indicated above for section 6.0.

---

Carl-Uno

Carl-Uno Manros
Principal Engineer - Advanced Printing Standards - Xerox Corporation
701 S. Aviation Blvd., El Segundo, CA, M/S: ESAE-231
Phone +1-310-333 8273, Fax +1-310-333 5514
Email: [email-masked]