Subject: Editorial comments to IPP93.doc

From: Carl-Uno Manros <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 23 Nov 96 12:22:03 PST

Scott,

the new draft starts looking pretty good.  However, here are a my editing comments on IPP version .93.  
Hope we can get these fixes in before sending the text to IETF.

Carl-Uno
---

I have concentrated on general readability, consistency and nitty-gritty typos rather than technical details. There seems to 
be enough of that from other members of the group already.

All references are in relation to line numbers from ipp93.doc.

Global inconsistency:

The operation names in Chapter 5 are typically concatenated, as in "GetAttributes", while in Chapter 6 the names are 
written with hyphens, such as "Get-Attributes".  We need to synchronize this.  It would seem to be easier to fix Chapter 5 
as there are much fewer occurrences there, provided the HTTP syntax allows hyphens in names?

Chapter 2

Line 283	Change "Printer servers" to "Print servers"
Line 290	Change first "." to ":"
Line 296	Change first "." to ":"

Chapter 3

Line 401	Change "consists of" to "contain" (to make consistent with text in 3.4)
Line 431	Change "a end-user" to "an end-user"

Chapter 4

Line 551	Change "fo" to "of" 
Line 564	Change "They" to "The"
Line 577	Change "Is is" to "It is"
Line 594	Change "2-sided-long- edge" to "2-sided-long-edge"
Line 595	Change "2-sided-short- edge" to "2-sided-short-edge"

Chapter 5

(See global inconsistency problem above as well)

Line 762	Should "Print Job" have been "Print-Job"?
Line 786	Should "Document Header" have been "Document-Header"?
Line 895	Change "GetJobs" to GetJobs Request"
Line 901	Change "Get Jobs" to "GetJobs"

Chapter 6

Line 949	Remove extra stop at end of line
Line 1007	Remove extra stop at end of line
Line 1154-56  Remove " After some program has merged the production attributes into the
document data "
Line 1242	Remove extra stop at end of line
Line 1486	Remove the first occurrence of "the"
Line 1492	Replace "end user" with "end-user"
Line 1493	Replace "end user" with "end-user"
Line 1524	Remove space before ","
Line 1529	Remove space before "."
Line 1558	Remove extra stop at end of line
Line 1563	Remove extra stop at end of line
Line 1763	Insert space before "IPP"

Chapter 8

Line 1822	Change "FRC" to "RFC"

Chapter 9

Line 1873	Insert the actual list of IPP attendees

Appendix A

Line 1879	Change "AJjob" to "A Job"

There is a common problem with double spaces between words in the text.  Although this is not critical, it looks sloppy 
(and shows up much more clearly in ASCII printed text) and we should try to fix it if time allows.  You can use Words 
Edit-Replace feature and search for two spaces and replace with one space, but selectively on a case by case basis, as 
there are many places where you actually want the two spaces.  It took me about an hour to find them all.  It should take 
about the same time to fix them with this method. You can reposition the cursor in the text between searches to skip over 
places with lots of space characters, like in the pictures.

Here are the line numbers with that problem:

36, 54, 139,  151, 157,  263, 264, 287, 311, 333 (three spaces),  491, 492, 526, 548, 568, 583, 586, 834, 876, 876, 908, 
948, 051, 999, 1049, 1050, 1056, 1062 (also at end of line), 1087, 1088, 1092, 1145, 1158, 1160, 1182, 1230, 1254, 1262, 
1265, 1267, 1279, 1281, 1335, 1342, 1365, 1373, 1381, 1399, 1507, 1517, 1525, 1527, 1534, 1620, 1621, 1635, 1689, 
1751, 1753, 1754, 1788, 1810.

---

Carl-Uno Manros
1601 N Sepulveda Blvd. #505
Manhattan Beach, CA 90266-5133
E-mail: [email-masked]